PinkBeltRage

not so super cuts.

26 July 07 ¦ Permalink ¦


(Yeah, lame title, but hey I’m exhausted. And ugh, the entry isn’t so great either.)

So, it’s been a while since I got my hair cut and I’m just not getting used to it at all. The haircut I got really sucks. And I guess, it’s my fault…

I hate going to hair salons for a variety of reasons. I shy away from the fuss and wait of real salon types of places. And this is why I recently opted for the mall for the total chop-off.

I was a ‘walk-in’ which basically meant the newbiest and crappiest hairstylist cut my hair.

And you know, it was a huge deal. Stylists and patrons stopped and watched as I stood up and my ponytail was slowly hacked off. People were giddy and crazed over so much hair being removed.

I dunno, it was somewhat frightening.

Almost like they expected something to happen to me immediately after. . .

A sudden outburst of tears, perhaps? A lack of motor skills? Loss of memory? Numbness and/or tingling? Dry mouth?

Either way and whatever, they were clearly hoping for some horrible reaction from me.

That was the vibe I was getting.

Anyway, the stylist and I engaged in odd small talk while she washed my hair. This included her asking me what “grade” I was in.

She got all bug-eyed when I told her how old I was.

“SHOOT WOW! You are that old?! ... (shouts my age!) ... OH MY GOD!”

Everyone was looking at me, again… but in that eyes-narrowed microscope sorta way.

You know, where they’re really trying to find evidence of my oldness. Searching for wrinkles and sags.

She quickly apologized for asking and said how yes, it’s rude to ask someone who is my age how old they are. Then she explained that thinking I was a senior in high school made it okay to ask.

Golly. Thanks, lady.

Things calmed down and she went to work cutting my hair, as crooked as possible. Seriously. Just snipping in a chunky safety scissors sort of way.

Anyway, on the counter in front of my chair, I noticed several baby books.

Baby Names, What to Expect When You’re Expecting, and so on.

I looked at her and soon found myself in a similar problematic situation… should I ask her whether or not she was pregnant? . . . because honestly, she just looked fat.

I couldn’t tell if those books belonged to her. If that was her “styling station” or someone else’s who was away at lunch or just getting coffee.

I asked her how long she had been working there, hoping to get a better idea and she said about three months, explaining that she was really planning on being a nurse. More fulfilling and all that.

Anyway, I decided that if she was really pregnant and I didn’t say anything, then that was kinda rude. So, I commented on the books…. “Oh… I see someone is picking out baby names….?” and she said, very excitedly, snipping away… “Yes! I am!”

Whew. What a relief.

She said they were thinking of the name “Jackson”. I said how M had a friend named “Jackson” and that it was a nice name.

She was very excited that I said this and said, “Really?! (smiling huge)”

Me: Yes! A nice kid.

Stylist: (Serious tone and expression) Was he a white dude?

Me: (taking a moment to process her question) . . . Umm, well, yes, yes, he was.

Stylist: (Huge sigh of relief? Looks towards the heavens, and closes eyes and raises hands) Yup! It’s not a black dude’s name. I told them! . ... My family thinks that it’s a ‘black’ name.

Me: Oh. Um. Huh. (Cringing) . . . . Hmm… (She stops cutting and is still staring at me. Waiting.) Hmm. Oh, you mean like Michael Jackson? Does that really count though?

Anyway, I was glad when it was all finally over and she snipped her last snip.

I walked out feeling light and weird, with wet hair and my ponytail in my purse.

All she did was cut my hair badly, and she charged me $30 for it.

I started writing this post a while ago … and now I’ve sort of lost track of where I was going with it.

So, feel free to add your own conclusion.

I’m just writing to write.

And, I will be taking pictures at Comicon starting tomorrow (Thursday-Sunday). Woohoo!

Nerds ahoy!

(Btw: There will be no refunds issued for this entry.)

* * *

  1. Did you send your hair to Locks of Love? I think I did that when I chopped my hair off. It has to be at least 12 inches long. Oh and you do look young. :)
    — Erica AP    26 July 07    #
  2. $30 for choping a ponytail off Crap, she should pay you for the pleasure!
    — archie4oz    26 July 07    #
  3. Welcome to the summer of bad hair. C_ and I are doing our best to grow out too.
    — tedfoo    27 July 07    #
  4. ahahahaha this is hilarious. she sounds a little off. why would she SHOUT your age??? wtf? also, for $30, just go to good hair salon and get a competent haircut heh.. ridiculous.
    — maggie    27 July 07    #
  5. Oh dear.

    Like around this time last year, I cut my own hair again, and did a pretty good job. Next time, wait for me to fly out and I’ll be happy to cut it for you. For free. :)
    — lexinthecity    27 July 07    #
  6. Oh, and I can’t wait to see your pics from Comicon! :)
    — lexinthecity    27 July 07    #
  7. So I guess nobody gets their haircuts from the salon training institutes in their home town ? ? ? You know, get a FREE haircut by somebody that is “training” to be a stylist. The haircut is usually f*cked up, but god there is nothing better than FREE. There are also other places where I get FREE dental work and FREE massages. These students have to practice on somebody right, well why not me. Sometimes I’ll splurge and go to Fantastic Sams or SuperCuts, not often though.
    — ScottieB    29 July 07    #
  8. I learnt very young not to potentially offend someone with scissors, bleach and all sorts of razor blades within proximity of your head region. Just sit there, nod your head and talk about the weather.

    But I admire your courage _
    — Hans-Christian Andersen    31 July 07    #
  9. Once when I asked a hairdresser to cut off all my hair, she actually refused. Odd, no? Photo of new haircut please! I’m sure you can rock the crooked cut.
    — martina    16 August 07    #
  10. oh my oh my. i missed your photos on flickr and thought i’d check here! great story. i feel ya about the age thing. i can deal w/ them thinking i’m in college, but highschool is a little much. i was asked twice over the last week for my ID when drinking (in the presence of important folk) and one lady stared & said, “gosh you’re old.” the other more kindly gentleman said, “oh very young and beautiful.” guess who got the bigger tip.
    — char    19 August 07    #

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