PinkBeltRage

Rest my || Celery

12 July 07 ¦ Permalink ¦

So I got a major haircut and I’ve been on that South Beach diet for a little over two weeks now and it rules.

It’s amazing how depriving yourself of all sugar for two weeks makes formerly barf-able foods, like carob . . . and cardboard carbs taste as delicious as a hot fudge sundae supreme from Coldstone.

And as if I didn’t think about food enough before the diet, I am nonstop mulling over things I can eat, things I cannot, and taking it a step further and wondering how I’d feel during and after consumption of something like, blueberry cheesecake.

My conclusion: I’d end up regretting it and feeling very sick after the initial sugar high leaves me all alone with nothing but fat and it’s calories.

Sigh.

I was in the car this morning, listening to new Interpol on a very empty stomach, and that song Rest My Chemistry came on. . .

It took me a while to realize the song wasn’t about chemistry, in the science-y-periodic-table-of-elements sorta way, but from what I gathered, more like the Paul Banks – chemistry in the partying-drug-addict kinda way.

So he’s singing on in his Paul Banksy voice about drugs and how he’s going to ‘rest (his) ... chemistry’ blah blah blah rockstar blah blah blah.

And I’m listening and thinking… yeah, hmm… I can relate to that Paul Banks . . .

Before Dr. Arthur Agatston’s South Beach Diet, I was up many a late-night in the glow of the stovetop light with my face in bag of Snyder’s of Hanover Spicy Buffalo Wing flavored pretzels.

I recalled how I’d wake up in the early morning, exhausted, regretful, with orange salty spicy seasoning and crumb remnants at the corners of my mouth, and the worst bloat and searing gas pains you could possibly imagine.

You know, the sort that require an entire morning to deflate from?

Yeah, it was like that.

Anyway, I’ve given it all up for celery sticks and 15 almonds a day and quickly changed up the lyrics to the song, so….

Cue it up and sing along!

Rest My Celery – lyrics, by Pinkbeltrage Joy. music and inspiration, by Interpol and Dr. Arthur Agatston.

I’ve starved for two days
I’ve dined on nothing but squash
And I’ve made buffets
scenes for things to regret.
My cravings they come
And the pies they go by.

Tonight I’m gonna rest my celery.
Tonight I’m gonna rest my celery.

I’ve lived my life on bad carbs
Just some chips and three kinds of dip
And I’ve made drive-thrus
Such scenes for things that I regret
Oh, those days of hot dog buns
They bring a tear to my eye.

Tonight i’m gonna rest my celery.
Tonight I’m gonna rest my celery.

But you’re so yum. You’re so yum.
You look like a pie.
You’re so yum. So sweet. Curly fries.

So I eat some okra
Take a long nap and just resist all the cupcakes
Got to take some time to realize
That my cravings they come
And the pies they go by.

Tonight I’m gonna rest my celery.
Tonight I’m gonna rest my celery.

But you’re so yum. You’re so yum.
You look like a pie.
You’re so yum. So sweet. Curly fries.
You look so yum, like a donut in my lazy eyes.

Here’s a link to the real lyrics, btw.

* * *

  1. those lyrics are CLASSIC! quite a songstress. :-P

    i’m thinking of changing diets. and since it’s been working well with you, i might check out the south beach diet!
    — bardot    12 July 07    #
  2. Man – I had to read your awesome food lyrics right before lunch and now my stomach can be heard all the way down the hall. :)
    — Erica AP    12 July 07    #
  3. i love interpol.
    — maggie    12 July 07    #
  4. Oh screw it. I’m too lazy to listen to the mp3 (how the f does that happen?) so I just sang your lyrics to Debaser and it worked out pretty well.

    I just had a pop tart, too.
    — tedfoo    14 July 07    #
  5. What is this word “diet” you speak of?
    — Scottie    18 July 07    #
  6. Hahahha.Awesomeeeeeee.Welcome back yeahhhh:) Celery rules with pretty greens and negative calories??
    — Angel    19 July 07    #
  7. Had total laughing outburst at work reading your lyrics!

    I’m going to try the SBD beginning Aug. 1.
    — melina    25 July 07    #

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