PinkBeltRage
Since a deserted island would be cruel...
3 December 04 ¦ Permalink ¦
Lord help me, my mother is coming again. She arrives tomorrow afternoon. My stomach just hurts thinking about it and surely, my blood pressure must be skyrocketing.
I can’t recall if I mentioned her root canal drama. She rang every single one of us and said her “goodbyes” before the procedure. My brother and I assured her it was routine and she would not die, but well, she can dream can’t she.
Much to her dismay, she’s doing just fine. Now, all we have to wait for is her celebratory holiday biopsy for her other “condition”. Something I like to refer to as “glorified heartburn”.
Somehow it seems fitting for a woman, such as my mother, the most bitter human being I know, to be plagued by such a severe case of acid reflux disease. It’s almost as if she were a physical embodiment of her unhappiness, manifested in her very own bile.
Yes, she has been waving this impending biopsy over the heads of my entire family since the summer. She has driven us all to complete apathy.
Now that we’re nearing Christmas, she’s pulling out all the stops. Yes, in my family, nothing says “Happy Holidays!” like biopsy results announced just before Christmas dinner.
J2 compared her to the “Boy who cried wolf” but more like the “Mom who cried cancer”.
My silent, elusive brother who lives in Tokyo, even called and emailed me to discuss our mother’s apparent madness. We talked for almost two hours on the phone for the first time in years.
It was nice because it didn’t feel like years at all. It felt like yesterday.
The two of us have concocted an elaborate plan to move my mother out of the mainland US. We plan on moving her to Hawaii. I’ve complained how unfair it is that I live within driving distance to her, while he lives across the world.
Hawaii would be almost equidistant by plane to the both of us. It’s 6 1/2 hours from Tokyo and about 5 hours for me. So, this was something we could both agree on.
Our plan goes into action this Christmas. My brother will be flying into San Diego to spend the Holidays with us, putting the wheels in motion.
It’s actually quite exciting. The thought of being free from her to an extent.
Who knows, maybe Hawaii will mellow her out a bit. And of course, I’d visit more often. Who wouldn’t.
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