PinkBeltRage
this is the sound of settling.
5 April 07 ¦ Permalink ¦
Evil cake that I ate, after a huge breakfast.
of my fat chubby body… as I sit here, kind of reclined, feeling my bones settle comfortably into my newfound chub suit.
Yes! It was all the rage for Winter 2006 and I’m determined to keep it going in Spring 07.
Sigh.
I was walking to my car this morning after I dropped M off at her classroom door.
I watched as she walked in and smiled and waved. I spun around on my heel and headed back the way I came.
While I walked briskly with the other departing parents, I began staring at the asphalt scattered with little branches and twigs from the trees lining the sidewalks…
They were all over the place and I was careful not to step on any.
“Wow,” I thought.
“These look a lot like pretzels!”
Really!Has anyone noticed how much brown shiny twigs can look like little pretzel bits?
M calls them “prent-zels”.
I need to annunciate, I guess.
I love that she writes everything down these days. Her stories and spelling errors remind me of something a dog would do, if the dog attempted to journal.
She wrote a letter to her pediatrician yesterday, talking about her class at school and wrote “itcept”, instead of “except” (not a word on her spelling list just yet, but she tries!)
I am reminded of this old Far Side cartoon that used to crack me up when I was like eight years old.
I think it was a dog, trying to lure a cat into the dryer or some sort of trap that would be awful for a cat.
And dog wrote a sign that said “CAT FUD——>” with an arrow directing the cat to the “fud”.
God, I still laugh about that cartoon.
For years, my brother and I called food, “fud”.
When we weren’t fighting, he would climb up on the jungle gym with me and say “Hey, wanna go look for some fud in the kitchen?”
And I would crack up.
Man, how I loved the Far Side.
I should look for that cartoon!
I guess it’s only funny when you know how to spell.
* * *
I’ve been having a creative block of sorts. I can’t write and don’t feel like listening to music or posting photos. I was unsure of what to write after my last post about my Grandmother’s funeral.
I mean, I got seriously annoyed by some Asian chicks in a Chipotle and even took a secret photo of them and had planned to come right home and blog about them… but then I thought, ‘I can’t post something so petty after such a heavy-hearted post!’ ... and declined.
But really, these chicks were all huddled around one cup of soda with three straws. Eating their carnitas bols with such delicate picking movements. Seriously. What made the sight even worse to witness was the fact that they all had severe underbites.
You know, like bulldogs.
And they would finally bring food to their mouths and that lower jaw action was reminding me of turtles. Oh and they all had their elbows bent on the table and ate with their forearms perfectly erect.
The communal soda cup would get passed around. Sip. Sip. Sip.
Pick. Pick. Pick. One shred of pork at a time was slowly chewed like cud. (“cud” being one of those things that fascinated me as a child. You know, cows and their cud and their multiple stomachs. How fascinating and sickening, but awesome if you were eating something you really really wanted to savor!)
I had the urge to just push myself over next to them and grab the back of their heads, shove their faces into their bols and scream:
“Eat it! Dammit! EAT! It’s freakin’ Chipotle for god’s sakes. This ain’t no china tea party, bitches!”
I guess I’ve been in a foul mood since returning from Hawaii. I go shopping and start to buy things to send to my Grandma and then I realize she’s dead.
Then my 93 year old Grandma, in Vegas, my mom’s mom… she had a huge stroke. They said it would’ve killed a woman half her age, but somehow my Grandma is alive.
Being my mom’s mom, I am very close to her. I’ve had much more time with her than any other grandparent. I’m also the youngest granddaughter of like 12 other granddaughters and spoiled. She moved from Maui to CA and lived nearby when I was in high-school.
I used to visit her after school. She would tell me stories and teach me how to make sushi. She even taught me to make Japanese futons. I sewed one with her help. Whenever I was sick, she would come over to cook and take care of me while my mom was at work.
There are many times in my life where I needed someone and without saying anything or me asking, my Grandma was there. She never lectured me about my life, or told me what to do, she just talked to me and did her best to make me smile and feel loved.
I was just there in Vegas to visit her. She has been moved to a rehab center.
I’m still in shock, seeing her like that, unable to move, or talk. All of her food is pureed because she has no control over her tongue yet.
She is normally active and ready to go off to the casino with her bag of change. She is a nonstop chatterbox. She’s very opinionated and always has something to discuss.
Now she’s just still and silent.
I went in and just talked to her like normal. At first, I wanted to cry and hug her and was at a loss for words, but then I decided to just act like nothing was wrong with her and have the same sort of conversations we would normally have.
I told her all about M and her refusal to cut her bangs and hair. Her hair is almost as long as mine and I’m starting to think she wants her hair long because it is like mine. Ha.
My mom, aunt, and myself were there late one night at the rehab facility and we were changing her clothes and diaper thingy. (The nurses there aren’t very attentive to her needs, especially at night. It’s sad.)
We had to roll her body back and forth to accomplish this. It was quite difficult!
My aunt put baby powder on her and we all laughed that Grandma was kinda like a sumo wrestler in her big ol’ diaper thing and powdery butt.
It sounds mean, I know, but my Grandma actually made a face and tried so hard to laugh. Her whole body was shaking and she kinda smiled.
I have no idea if she’s going to recover from this stroke and gain control of her body again. She is in physical, speech and occupational therapy everyday and progress seems very, very slow at this point.
Right now, I’m in NY for a few days before heading back to Vegas. I’ve been exhausted and needed a mini-break. It’s way cold here! It was in the 80’s back in Vegas when I left.
And this post is completely random and lengthy and I’m not editing it, otherwise I probably won’t post it.
Oh, if anyone has any music recommendations, please let me know. What are y’all listening to these days? I think we all kinda like the same stuff. Feel free to share.
Oh! I went to see the Sweet and Tender Hooligans with my dad, at the Casbah! We had a father-daughter night out, which was really great. Remind me to tell you all about it later.
Hope everyone is enjoying their spring break, if you have one. And Happy Easter, if you do that sort of thing.
And thank you for your kind comments and emails about my last post.
* * *
*Older articles. Read On!*
— archie4oz 5 April 07 #
i confess i’ve been listening to this [click on my name below] inexlicably eccentric cd in my car for the last few days.
traveling tomorrow, have to organize the nano—oh & pack
— josh h 6 April 07 #
Thanks to google images, found it for ya:
dog fud
— axle 6 April 07 #
I’d fix it but I couldn’t figure out a way to edit my comment once it was posted!
— axle 6 April 07 #
http://www.myspace.com/fridaymorningsregret
— maggie 6 April 07 #
— Joy 18 April 07 #
— josh h 1 May 07 #